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<title>Eccentricities, They're Weird by Amethysthope7</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28061046">Eccentricities, They're Weird</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethysthope7/pseuds/Amethysthope7'>Amethysthope7</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(:, Crack, Eccentricities, Gen, Good to know, I don't know how many places you are safe to be stabbed in but peter does, No Beta we die like vikings, One Shot, Short One Shot, Why don't more people call peter cottontail, actually I'm not hot enough to be a viking, be my guest, bunnies are soft, candles smell good, comedy?, deadpool is never a good role model, guess I'll just be a pirate, guess you could say its one of my, humor?, i just like candles, if someone wants to take this and run with it, just a bit, oop didnt know there was a character limit on tags, peter gets stabbed, peter is not always a good role model, please never be stabbed tho, some people should stop doing some things, that's not relevent, this isn't that good but it makes me laugh, usually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:15:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28061046</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethysthope7/pseuds/Amethysthope7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people do weird things. Like keeping the knives they're stabbed with. But what kind of Goof would do that? I think you know.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark, Peter Parker | Spiderman &amp; Wade Wilson | Deadpool</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Eccentricities, They're Weird</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's not that good but I think it's funny and a fun concept.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>People often have odd tendencies that make them just a bit more not like others. Some people stress bake. Some people like scaring others by dropping from the ceiling and other high places. Some people like to eat glue. Some people can't die. </p>
<p>The point is, people do things and sometimes they are weird things, but these things are what make people individuals.</p>
<p>Some people don't have exactly healthy tendencies. </p>
<p>Some people stay up literally all night reading fanfiction.</p>
<p>And some people are friends with The Pool. Even more not healthy is that at least one person is The Pool. </p>
<p>By The Pool I of course mean-</p>
<p>"Wade Winston Wilson!"</p>
<p>Also known as Deadpool. Soon to be known as 'severely injured', but that never seems to bother him. </p>
<p>"Ow!"</p>
<p>Much.</p>
<p>And now we'll have a cliché little thing where I go, "You might be wondering why this Bloody Panda Man is becoming severely injured." You probably aren't wondering though because he gets severely injured a lot and it doesn't really stick ever, so it really doesn't matter anyway. </p>
<p>But we're doing the thing where we kind of go back in time for an explanation anyway because this involves one of my favorite Beans and it's funny. At least to me.</p>
<p>(-_-   )</p>
<p>Okay so we might not actually be doing any kind of back in time mumbo jumbo. We weren't really in a set time before anyway. I'm just being really vague. </p>
<p>Moving on!</p>
<p>Peter Parker has a knife collection. </p>
<p>There was gonna be more build up to that and maybe later I'll some back and change that but probably not. </p>
<p>Some people might be going, "Wah?! Petey Boi???! Knives?!? NO!"</p>
<p>And like, okay, that's fair. But consider this. You're wrong :p. At least here in this universe. Y'know, universe mumbo jumbo stuff.</p>
<p>It's not like he goes out and buys a bunch of knives or anything. In fact he's only ever bought one knife for himself and that was before he started his collection. Obviously he doesn't steal them either, and I doubt many of you even considered that seriously. He may have a knife collection, and be friends with Pool, and be a vigilante, but he's too pure to steal! Unless it's Bucky's cookies that Clint's trying to hog, but that stealing is for a very good cause and Clint was being a butt.</p>
<p>No, people give him knives. By way of stab. And the occasional throw. But usually stab. </p>
<p>The first time it happened, he was still pretty new at the saving people thing. He was saving some random mugging victim when the attacker dude pulled out a knife and stabbed our Boi. </p>
<p>It was very painful and unexpected. That was the first of many times he accidentally broke someone's nose in surprise. Yes, spidey sense but also, accidental nose breakage. And sometimes spidey sense is kind of lazy an not particularly helpful. All it did was help him move enough that the stab didn't do much but bleed.</p>
<p>Anyway, Spidey quickly webbed the guy and left. With the knife still in him.</p>
<p>And that's how he got his first knife! :D</p>
<p>Sometime later he started purposefully keeping the various sharp things he was repeatedly being harmed with. He didn't <em>mean</em> to start a collection, but the more he kept the less the criminals had, right? And also, some of them were <em>really cool</em>. </p>
<p>A few notable times he's said thank you to criminals who stabbed him with especially cool or pretty weapons.</p>
<p>The first thing he ever said to Deadpool was, "Oh my gosh dude, are those katanas? Yo if you stab me with those I'm keeping them in the divorce."</p>
<p>"No way Karen! These kiddies stay with me!"</p>
<p>This started a beautiful friendship. </p>
<p>Said friendship includes many many presents. </p>
<p>Peter, not really having much money, usually just gave Pool someone to talk to. And eat lots of crappy food with.</p>
<p>Pool though, had lots of money. Which meant one, lots of food to share. And two, lots of knives to gift. And he, of course, could not ignore tradition. </p>
<p>So at Peter's birthday party that Stark insisted on holding, instead of handing Peter a nice, giftwrapped box, he stabbed Peter with a knife that had just the handle wrapped. There was even a neat bow.</p>
<p>But the avengers en masse weren't privy to this ritual and immediately started beating up the Murder Panda. Stark yelled his name like an enraged mom. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Peter took the knife out and unwrapped the handle. Gasping at the beautiful weapon, Peter quickly cleaned off his blood to admire it. </p>
<p>"Wade this is so beautiful! I won't ask where you got it because that's never a good thing to ask you, but thanks!" </p>
<p>"Glad you like it Cottontail! Ow! Check out- ah!- the butt! Check out the butt!"</p>
<p>He did and messed with it a bit. For a hot second he was alarmed and thought he broke it but, "A compartment! Dude is this a tinier knife inside the knife?!"</p>
<p>"Knifeseption!"</p>
<p>"Ha ha ha! Dude this is the best birthday present ever!"</p>
<p>And maybe there was a conversation about stabbing people and blood spread diseases, but I don't like confrontations very much and I'm tired, so. Yeah. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I've never written a soulmate AU but I was very tempted to make this one, but I thought that might be too much. But like, imagine Wade going through life with, "Oh my gosh dude, are those katanas? Bro if you ever stab me with those I'm definitely keeping them." somewhere on his skin. Permanently. If anyone ever makes or finds a fic with that or something like it, I'm 90% down to read it.</p>
<p>I can't stop laughing now because I imagined things Wade could respond with.<br/>"No way Karen!"<br/>"Now why would I want to divorce someone with such a fine... booty?" I don't curse :p<br/>I just- I love this. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading! (: Please feel free to comment your thoughts!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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